Labour have a cunning plan to lose their last remaining supporters. Here:
The central plank of the party’s strategy involves identifying the 10 most popular family cars in Britain and then making them a nightmare to own.
A Labour spokesman said: “We’re going for the double whammy of making them too expensive to drive, but also impossible to sell. “And if that doesn’t work we’ll just spray paint a big swastika onto the bonnet.”
Meanwhile teams of party researchers will tour marginal constituencies, identifying Labour voters and then kneeing them in the groin or setting fire to their coat. The spokesman added: “We’ll take stock during the summer and if, at that point, there are any Labour voters left, the prime minister will send them each a personal, hand-written letter calling them a c*nt.
(via Chicken Yoghurt)